When Introversion and Math Collide

When I was a university math major, in one of the later courses, I was sitting in class with a girl named Susa, listening to a lecture. We'd been exposed to a countless number of theorems over the many semesters, and that day the prof presented yet another heretofore-unheard-of mathematician and his theorem. "Someday," murmured my seatmate, without taking her eyes off the board, "there's going to be a Susa theorem."

My thoughts exactly. And, talking with a friend recently about how introverts need to refuel after an exhausting period of extroversion, I realized the time has come. So, I give you:

Hoehne's First Law

The approximate number of Introversion Hours (IH, or I-Hours) required to refuel an introvert after a given amount of extroverted energy release can be expressed as

3(XH) + s + .02(dB) = IH



Where XH is the number of Extroversion Hours,

s is any portion of the XH during which the introvert felt unwell,

dB is the decibel level of noise the introvert was exposed to during the XH.

As a simple example, let's say the introvert attended a three-hour party where loud music was played and had a headache the entire time. The approximate number of I-Hours the person will require to recuperate is calculated as follows:

3(3) + 3 + .02(115) =

9 + 3 + 2.3 = 14.3

So we see that, if we include the hours spent sleeping, this poor soul needs virtually an entire day to refuel.

If, however, the introvert felt well during the party, and the loudest sound was normal conversation, we have

3(3) + 0 + .02(60) = 10.2

In this case, we can expect the introvert to be able to handle about 6 hours of non-isolation during the following 24-hour period.

Caution: Empirical data only. No writing was slacked off upon in order to pursue rigorous scholarship in the writing of this theorem. :)

Now, if this fiction-writing thing doesn't pan out, maybe I can write a textbook?